Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Cookie looks like Marty Feldman, in particular the Young Frankenstein version where he plays Dr Frankenstein’s assistant, Igor? If you haven’t seen it you’re missing out. “I just can’t see it myself” replies Cookie. But of course, with eyes like Feldman you would have difficulty in seeing anything, when one eye is looking at you and the other eye is looking for you. Not that there is anything wrong with our Cookie’s eyesight, as he often bashes and biffs balls to every corner of the boundary (mostly cow corner). But it doesn’t say where you hit them in the scorebook so you keep doing your thing sir.
I dread to think next season the damage Cookie will cause in the over 40’s team (he is over 40 now right?) Not just with the bat, but with the gloves also. Our Cookie is quite sharp you know. Back in his day, just after television had been invented, Cookie took a record number of catches for Chadwell Heath. His trick, he later told me, was that he imagined the ball to be a pint of Doombar. Good show old boy. Which leads me to another point of the bundles of experience the guy has. He has played for more clubs than Jack Preston’s had hot dinners. Sensational amount, so much so that it’s a fact that no matter who you play Cookie will know at least one of the oppo. Fantastic achievement and something that cricket is all about. To carry on this tradition we ourselves put out a transfer request to see if any clubs wished to have Cookie on loan, but, there must have been something wrong with our telephone as no one got back to us. Peculiar.
But not only is this chap a fine cricketer. He is also a true servant of the club, and along with his good friend Nathan, often assists in preparing the wicket for the days game. So close these two chaps have become that we once walked in on Nathan giving Cookie a foot-rub. Not in that way mind you, and we asked no questions on the matter. Yet, a few weeks later we did find it odd when video evidence emerged of Cook striking thoroughly golf balls out of the cheeks of Nathan’s harris. I wish too that it was an euphemism but sadly not. Still, cracking shot it was indeed.